Nick's Uptown
4015-17 N. Sheridan Rd. (4000N, 1000W)
Chicago
(773) 975-1155

While technically in Lakeview, Nick's Uptown takes its name from how far north it is from Nicks' original location in Wicker Park and the rapidly regentrifying, yet still somewhat funky (read: rough) part of Lakeview's "Buena Park" sub-neighborhood. Nick's Uptown, along with Holiday and Side Bar, is one of the few places in this part of Chicago where you can hang out somewhere other than a dive where the odds of getting shot and not getting shot seem to be dead even. While you might not take a bullet, you might take a punch. Nick's Uptown is one of the best late-night bars on weekends, but it does attract Lincoln Park larrikins looking for a fight if they can't pick up.

Nick's Uptown is the latest addition to a legacy that began in 1977, by then and current owner Nick Novich. The original Nick's was located at Halsted and Armitage, but moved to its present location in Wicker Park ten years ago. Having opened during the Summer of 2001, Nick's Uptown is located in a somewhat unique locale. As mentioned above, Nick's Uptown was the first cool bar in this part of town. Prior to that, the only other bar in the area worth going to was the Side Bar Café, located at Buena Avenue and Broadway, which has a nice shaded beer garden and once offered pleasant views of prostitutes and the homeless hangin' out amidst young condo dwellers new to the area. Michael's Bar & Grill, south of Side Bar on Broadway, is also a good place especially for food and watching the game. However, neither Michael's or Side Bar offered much of a night life. With all the twenty- and thirty-somethings having moved into recently-converted condos in the area, Nick's Uptown savvily honed in on the growing need for late-night cocktails, as the only alternatives are significantly further south in Wrigleyville or farther north in Andersonville or at the Green Mill. In addition to Nick's Uptown's location, the actual building itself is one of the rare instances in Chicago where a residential building was re-zoned to accommodate a bar. Usually it's the other way around, especially considering such former stand-outs as Augenblick, MaxTavern and even Medusa's.

Not only is Nick's Uptown one of the few cool places along Irving Park, close to the lake, but it also compares well against even the trendiest of bars elsewhere in Chicago. Once you get past the legion of bouncers at the door, used effectively to quell disturbances quickly, you'll enter an environment that would make the director of Glengarry Glen Ross proud. The funky, red-brick floor (ala McGee's) compliments the blue, green and red lighting throughout the front room. The high, curving, cave-like ceiling is accented by the cylindrical lights on walls painted in a pattern that evokes the feel of criss-crossing spotlights in Hollywood – Hollywood, California, that is, not Hollywood Avenue located a bit further north. A long bar with 60 black-metal, high-backed chairs extends along the south end of the barroom, with cocktail tables in the middle and along the sides. Behind the bar stands a mirrored backing along with red fez hat-lamps like those found at Liar's Club. Here at the bar, only a few beers are available on tap but it probably won't matter as they'll all taste the same anyway. Just have a Red Bull & vodka and, like, nevermind.

Large bathrooms are located at the far end of the main barroom, along with plenty of room to queue up for them. From here, you can enter the pool room. Three pool tables provide even more reason to get in a fight, while the back-lit shelving with its colorful bottles is oddly soothing. If you're not doing that well at pool, or feel intimidated, there's a Golden Tee back in the main room up front by the large plate-glass windows. A second bar arcs out into the room, midway down the northern wall.

Nick's Uptown is the type of place where black-leather-jacketed patrons come in, already hammered, sometimes after puking outside to make room for more. It can be fairly annoying if you find yourself sober, but I find this to be a very difficult proposition at Nick's (either location, in fact). Like the air of perversion at the Leopard Lounge, the feeling that you are seconds away from a fight at Nick's Uptown is palpable. One of my friends once observed a girl that incited a fight by telling her boyfrined that another guy in the room grabbed her crotch, and pointing him out. This girl was off her nut and spiteful to boot. Obviously, not everyone is like this but enough do similar things to give the place a reputation. On the same night, I took a taxi from John Barleycorn's Wrigleyville to Nick's Uptown and, in that short space of time, the cabbie managed to tell us all about his premature ejaculation problem, real estate woes, and his recommendation to drink "pussy juice" (meaning mixed drinks you'd buy for women) instead of water. Hmm... Perhaps I should have taken this as a sign of things to come. Overall, Nick's Uptown is the newest generation of the north-of-Wrigleyville meat markets. If you happen to find yourself bored, in the unlikely event that you're not in the middle of a fight or trying to pick up, you can take in a feature like Who Framed Roger Rabbit? on the semi-big screen at the end of the room, mounted on a wood-paneled wall that could easily hold a larger screen. When you've had enough, don't worry, there are plenty of cabs lined up outside waiting for a fare. Maybe you'll be lucky and get the cab driver I had... not!

Nick's Uptown, not to be confused with a now-defunct club in Dallas Texas where the Red Jacket now stands, is arguably the best late-night bar north of Lincoln Park – giving Thai's till 4, Yak-zie's on Diversey and even the Lakeview Lounge a run for their money. Even with the occasional fisticuffs, I would recommend heading over to Nick's Uptown when you're feeling a bit frisky (read: horny and wasted) and willing to break the Two-o'Clock Rule. What is the "Two-o'Clock Rule" you ask? Simple: nothing good ever happens after 2:00 a.m. You might pick up, but will you like what you see in the morning? Will you feel good about yourself after having a burrito at Burrito House at 5:00 a.m.? Do you really need to spend more money, after having already dropped $200 in a night? If the answer is "YES" to any of the above, you are at risk of violating the Two-o'Clock Rule and I'd say Nick's Uptown is one of the best places to do it. For more information, check out Nick's Uptown's website. You lookin' at me, dude?

Example of a conversation heard at Nick's Uptown:
    Crass friend of mine: "Man is she fat. At least she has large breasts. I guess that's the only benefit of being a girl and fat."
    Fat girl with large breasts that overheard this [with extreme sarcasm]: "Oh, are you alright? You sure?" [followed by several mumbled expletives]
    Shortly afterwards, I spilled my beer all over myself and left.

~ Have a good story relating to this bar? E-mail it to me. ~

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– written by Sean Parnell